Losing A Lottery Ticket

 Losing a Lottery Ticket

¨Now moving on to the lottery channel,¨ The TV says. As I chop my vegetables for tonight’s curry, my TV is playing in the background. I know that I have to continue cooking for my family, but I can´t help it! Then it happens!! The current Murder Mystery show switches to the lottery channel. 

¨YES,¨ I say with delight. My numbers are the same as the lottery numbers. I just won 50 million dollars!! I go outside where my cat, Tabby, is playing with a ball of wool. I show it to her. She stares at it and then shows her beseeching eyes to me. Then suddenly a gust of wind blows in our direction. It picks up the ticket in my hand and blows it away. I rush after the lottery ticket, but it is too late. My chance for 50 million dollars is gone.

Quickly thinking on my feet, I rush back inside, taking Tabby with me. I grab my handbag and purse and dash into my car. 

´I must get there in time, I must get there in time,´ I mutter to myself. Tabby looks at me inquiringly as I drove. I know I am driving slightly over the speed limit, but I had to get there on time. Finally, I arrive. I leave Tabby in the car and let her nap a bit. My gaze looks up to the big purple sign. LOTTO!! My heart thumping, I open the door. I expected the Lottery Commission to be almost empty, but I was wrong - it is congested with people. It is so busy I have to squish myself to try to get into a line.

¨Next,¨ I hear the receptionist say. It seems like she isn´t having a perfect day. 

¨Hello there,¨ I say, trying to sound cheerful. ¨I was wondering if you could help me. I just won the lotto. The only problem is that it blew away when I was outside.¨

¨NO,¨ She immediately says, ¨I cannot help you. How do I know if you are lying or not? Don´t waste my time. Next,¨ She finishes. 

I feel defeated. I know I do not have any proof, but that just made it worse. I don´t know what to do. I finally decide to go home. I am just about to leave when I see somebody signalling for me to go there. She has something in her hand. Curiosity got the better of me, so I went to her. 

¨Here,¨ She says. She pushes a yellow card into my hand. ¨For you.¨ 

I glance down at the piece of paper. I look up again. The mysterious woman has disappeared!! I take a closer look at the card. ´My goodness! This card is the winning lottery ticket!´ I say, with a massive grin on my face. At the bottom, there is a little scribble. ¨She found my lottery ticket!!¨ I say with delight. I want to thank the woman, but she had gone. I strolled slowly back to the reception desk. ¨Here,¨ I say with a satisfied smile on my face. The receptionist doesn´t say anything as she glances vaguely at my ticket. I had already written down my details on a slip of paper. I handed it over. The receptionist peers at me and whispers something to another person, who like the receptionist had a bright purple uniform. Unlike the first receptionist though, he had a smiling, jolly face. ¨You will get the money in 3 days,¨ He says to me. After stuttering out my thanks, I went back to Tabby. I smile. ¨Well Tabby,¨ I say. ¨I won´t EVER go outside with a winning lottery ticket again!!¨

 

Have I:	Yes/No
Written an introduction with an interesting hook?	Yes
Described the setting and characters?	Some
Included a variety of details like thoughts, feelings and the five senses?	Yes
Used a variety of words to link events?	Yes
Written a resolution with an impactful closing?	Yes
Used paragraphs	Yes
Used interesting and powerful vocabulary?	Yes
Corrected most spelling, punctuation and grammar?	Yes
Two things I did well were…
I used dialogue to show my character´s feelings.  I used descriptive words to make my writing clear.
Something I can improve is…
Using more language features to hook my audience in more and describe the characters and setting in more detail.